"Love the sinner but hate the sin...."

"Love the sinner but hate the sin...."

.....WAIT!  Stop right there.  Unless you are Hindi, that isn't about what you are called to do at all.  If you are Christian, why are you latching onto another religions "commandment"?

Just yesterday, I spent the day educating a lady who wanted to play the victim on a facebook page specifically setup for gay Christians and their supporters called, "Believe Out Loud".  Tierra, the lady I engaged in conversation, was adamant that she can hate homosexuality yet love homosexuals because "Love the sinner but hate the sin" is the Christian thing to do.  Nope; it's the Hindi thing to do.  Actually, if you are going to follow TODAY'S interpretation of the Bible (and boy are there a LOT of mistranslations!), it says to stone a "man who lies with a man".  It says nothing directly or specifically about loving them (we will get to what Jesus says about all this in a little bit...patience!).  I called her (and several others) out on this fallacy.  That is when her "victimization" kicked in. 

I mentioned the color of her skin (she is black) to see the best way to engage her about how prejudice hurts.  It took her a while. I let her stew in her anger that I would mention her skin color.  Then I lowered the boom (I am paraphrasing here): 

"What if I went to a Facebook page, specifically for African Americans, and I said, 'I love blacks, but I hate that they are from Africa', how would you feel?  You claim homosexuality is a sin and it's Biblical, yet the Bible talks about my right to own slaves.  Does that give me the right to own you and therefore, if I did, you cannot be outraged that I would, right?" 

There was a long pause before she answered again.  But she finally came to the realization that prejudice is prejudice and that words ARE hurtful.  She also realized that we are now a much more mature and advanced society and we understand that humans - all humans - hold value (again, I paraphrase our conversation).  She was still upset that I continued to engage her and no one else throughout the day, which I pointed out was incorrect.  I actually did engage others that were spreading hate on the page (and reported those that were using vulgarity and hate speech - which we will get into in a little bit).  They were smart enough to leave, she was enthralled enough and determined to be a victim so she wanted to still engage.  That was the difference.  She wanted to know why though.  The answer is simple.  I saw a chance at her redemption from spreading hate.  People with a redeeming quality will ALWAYS be engaged by a person like me.  It's what we do.  We might need to tear someone down to build them back up, but it works.  Old school Army trick.

Folks, when there is a space that should be considered 'protected' (a Facebook page, a gay bar, gay pride, someone's personal home), why would anyone go there deliberately to engage in conversation that was hateful, mean, cruel, degrading against those who the 'protected space' is intended for?  Do they not realize that if a gay teen were to see some of the hateful posts that they could further damage an already fragile soul?  Do they not realize that their words could be the 'final straw' that leads to that teens death?  Or even an adult who is already struggling with their sexuality and emotionally on the edge?  Personally, I find them responsible for the persons death.  I've said this before and received a lot of eye rolling.  You may think that is a stretch, but it isn't.  When you spread hatred that hurts someone mentally, you ARE fully responsible for that persons actions.  Freedom of speech?  Yes.  With responsibility and the acceptance of repercussions due to your words.  

Or do they think that engaging them and being cruel will some how 'convert them' to being straight?  That doesn't work.  Not even a little.  Case in point:

As the evening wore on, a person by the name of Joey Sanbrotti from new Jersey came on the page, claiming that he saw the picture of the minister holding a sign saying "God is not homophobic" in his news feed and felt that he needed to chastise me (this picture is what stirred so many haters to come on the page).  His post is in this blog as a picture.  All he served to do was make a fool of himself.  I bring this up for the same reason I engaged Tierra.  His words, while they did not anger me (at 46 years of age I have faced hatred and I have won that battle), they could be EXTREMELY damaging to a fragile mind.  It brought home the realization that even in the "northern states" where we are suppose to be so liberal, that cruelty is *still* very much alive and well.  It reminded me that hatred is still a part of the human condition.  Most disconcerting is that Joey tries to lead you to believe he is somewhat of a Christian.  But look at the language he uses.  How is that Christian?  How is that loving?  How is that not judging?  He, as so many like him, hi-jack a loving God and turn the Bible and the Lords love into something that is vicious and hateful.  They are the "wolves in sheep's clothing" that we are warned about in the Bible.

Here is Joey's post:

Moving on from the ignorant:

Now, for those of you that are Christian, let's talk about hatred and judgment.  There are immediately two verses that come to my mind:

Luke 6:37: "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

and

1 John 4: 11: "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

Why is it so important to fundamentalists and evangelicals to engage the "man lying with man" verses but they forget these two things about judgment and love? (There are handful of "man with man" verses, but they are a reference to prostitution in the temple - but never mind that... why "study to show yourself approved" when condemnation and cruelty are so much more easy?). Does it say anywhere that you should hate the sin but love the sinner? No. It says "WE ALSO OUGHT TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER". It doesn't leave room for judgment and as Luke points out, as a Christian, you are not to be in the judgment seat.

Fundamentalists and Evangelicals get extremely haughty when you remind them that Christ never mentioned homosexuality at all according to the Bible. Not once. He addressed love a lot more than he addressed anything else. Why is that not important? (They also forget that before 1872, the word "homosexual didn't exist in the Bible... check it out). They also like to throw in a little destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah because of the homosexuals... forgetting that EVERYONE of BOTH genders in those towns wanted to bang the Angels of God - and that Angels, Biblically speaking, are neither male nor female except in name. Of course, they like to skip over the fact that Lot offered up his two virgin daughters for the raping. Why would homosexual men want to have sex with a female virgin? Such inconsistency in our outrage and our thoughts. Homosexuality = bad * Rape of young ladies = Godly and good... This will be addressed in later blogs, of course.

"BUT WAIT!" you might say. Doesn't II Chronicles 19:6 say "...Take heed what ye do: for ye judge not for man, but for the LORD, who is with you in the judgment." 

Let's examine that for a minute. What does it say in the verse before? 

"He appointed judges in the land, in each of the fortified cities of Judah" (II Chronicles 19:5). 

And the verse after? 

 "Now let the fear of the LORD be upon you. Judge carefully, for with the LORD our God there is no injustice or partiality or bribery" (II Chronicles 19:7). 

 This is not about you and I. This is about the APPOINTED judges of God among the Hebrews. This is about *law & order*. This is God telling the judges to judge appropriately and fairly. This is not a free rein to be barbaric and hateful as a Christian. Any minister who leads another to believe it is should be banned from the pulpit. It is actually a *chastisement* from God to be CAREFUL in judgment. One thing I admittedly can't stand is "cherry picking" Christians.

And what is interesting, is if you put all of this together (Luke, I John and II Chronicles) you get a good picture of the loving and wondrous heart of God:

"Do not judge. Love others as you are loved by God Leave it to the judges to decide - not yourself - and the judges should pass judgment carefully and with love."

Now, let's move this from being about gays and lesbians. Let's apply this to everything. Watch what you say, how you say it, tender your words with kindness, love and compassion. Evaluate, yes, but do not pass judgment, for that is not your call as a Christian (unless, of course, God has appointed you to be a judge of the people of Israel).

Most importantly? Love your neighbor, even when you are hated, as you would yourself.

We are every where... even in your family....

Rarely will I put a link into my blogs. However, today is a rare exception. We, in America, are at the horizon of a day day in America. One final step to TRUE equality - and it will now rest in the hands of the United States Supreme Court. I felt it worthy to link the Huffington Post story that inspired today's words. Happy reading!

For those that are still sitting on the fence on this issue and those so hard core to the (oh so wrong) "right" side of it, consider this:

This isn't about religion. This is about equality and recognition that NO ONE in America is a second class citizen.

But, if you want to make it about religion, consider this: It is not your place to sit in God's judgment seat. Plenty of things "unGodly" go on in our society but if you are not willing to protest the poor treatment of people as vigorously as you would protest same gender marriage, then you need to reexamine your outrage and properly redirect your efforts. There are FAR more damaging things going on in our world then 2 people of the same gender getting married. Where is your outrage?

If you want to make this about the history of marriage, then you need to read up and study the historical truth. 1 man, many wives PLUS concubines. 1 rapist and his victim, plus many wives and concubines. 1 male slave forced to marry 1 or more female slaves to bred more slaves for the owner. The list of "traditional marriage" goes on and on. If you want traditional marriage, then wives you must TRULY submit to your husbands. If you aren't, then you are already outside the Biblical context of marriage. 

Let's not make marriage look all pretty and glorious from the start - it isn't, in historical truth, a pretty thing at all, regardless of what we feel it is TODAY (today isn't history until tomorrow, so I just deflated that argument of "historically marriage is about 1 man and 1 woman). What destroys the family? Divorce after divorce after divorce. Cheating spouses. Abusive spouses. Falling out of love. Certainly not the queers (unless you or your spouse are closeted gay folk and one of you comes out and gets a divorce so the other can live a truthful life... yes, then I will admit gay marriage destroys opposite gender marriage).

And further consider this truth: Whether you like it or not, you have gay people in your family (This isn't Iran where the proclaim they have NO gay people... let's get real here). Whether you like it or not, one or more of those may be your children (who is closeted out of FEAR of you and your behavior if they were "out") and if not your children then at some point some descendant directly from you (grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc). Afterall, evidently gay people have been around since almost the dawn of humanity if not AT the dawn of humanity. You are doing nothing more than squashing their souls. Torturing your own flesh and blood. STOP AND THINK:

The person you are busy hating is bound to be someone you love.



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/22/obama-supreme-court-doma_n_2745594.html?icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D274344

Ageism... A wealth of knowledge at your disposal.

What's on my mind today?

When trying to encourage others that are younger than me, I often hear them call my points of view "ageism" and they cluck their tongue or shake their head - or glare. It is not "ageism" - it is having lived life. They say "things aren't the same as they use to be when YOU were my age" yet, as a parent, I see that nothing has changed. There are still mean people. There are still tragedies. There is still loss. There is STILL the exact same amount of "stupid" going on. But there is ALSO the same way to find happiness if you seek it instead of miring yourself in the 'unfortunate' things that happen.

And I listen to so much bitterness coming from young people. I scratch my head. I've had a child die when I was just 19 years old. I've held my father and my step fathers hands as they died (one when I was just in my 20's, the other in my late 30's). I've seen horrors in my own life - felt the atrocity of being raped and molested by a relative for years and years as a child. Beaten by a step father who, at the end, simply asked for forgiveness, which I gladly gave. But I have seen the birth of a child; the beauty of life entering the world. I've climbed mountains in Colorado and felt like I was touching the sky. I've swam in the ocean and thought "I am where whales have been - touched something that millions of people have touched. And I am significant. My life, for it's ups and downs is but a blip in this world, and yet it is so very important because I have touched; I have felt; I have lived, loved, cried and smiled - I have seen the face of God in every little and big thing and felt the grace of God in each, whether I have recognized it or not. I am grateful for the tears that made me stronger, the smiles that my heart lighter, and for every minute that I breathe I am filling my lungs with life that has been touched by so many. And I exhale and that life is reawakened in yet other things, only to come back to me. Yes. I AM significant!"

Not that I can compare my life to what others can endure - we are all different - but still I wonder to myself: "If you cannot accept defeat; if you cannot handle others anger towards you and gossiping about you; if you cannot overcome the small difficulties in life... how are you ever going to learn to live with the real tragedies?" If you can't figure out that those rainy days are the ONLY reason that you see the grass and tree's and oceans and rivers and flowers, how are you ever going to figure out that every little and big thing that happens is for you to see the beauty from within and without??

These things in life that are so big right now? They are nothing. That kid in school that won't stop bullying? Insignificant in 5 years. That teacher that is riding you about your grades? They want you to succeed. That argument with mom about what you cannot wear out of the house? To protect you from stupid people that will bring you harm. That cop that busts you for a beer in your hand? Trying to stop you from making a damn fool of yourself. These things? They are little mole hills on a climb that you will face until the day you die. If you are focused on the tragedy of a friend betraying you, a boss being a jerk, a bank screwing you over on a mortgage (ahem!), someone not repaying a deed you have done out of the goodness of your heart or a friend not accepting an apology for something you have done to them, your focus is wrong. 

Life is for living - overcoming what feels like a tragedy; laughing and finding the humor in a stumble (or falling off of a little yellow wagon!); caring for the ones that mean the world to you - and realizing that you should be caring for EVERYONE, because EVERYONE *should* matter to you. It's about doing something with the bad to make it a positive. Flipping the coin so you can see the other side and understanding that life isn't about our own single vision...that only leads to be a narcissist...but about HAVING a vision that you can see from other's perspectives. It's about broadening your horizon in the face of a closed door or lost opportunity. It's about turning the luggage you are carrying into something useful and meaningful instead of letting it be the thing that kills your soul, stops your smile, infects your ego and your life.

Go out. LIVE LIFE! Experience the wonders in everything that happens. For it is a wonderment that you are even alive. Most of all? Embrace the "no-gooders" and promise to yourself that you won't turn into them because a life of being mean leads to a life of no meaning.