The Great American Wedgie

Fair warning:  This morning’s blog is not for the prudish.  It is hard to give it an adult rating because, well, we seem to not be acting like adults any more.  But some of the topics are now in the national spotlight and could be (and SHOULD BE) too embarrassing to actually discuss in front of our younger kids.  I will give this a PG-14 rating because of some of the content.  If you are under 14 and reading this, ask mom, dad or your legal guardian (covering all my bases here) before you proceed.  So, let’s get on with the show, shall we?…

We have a problem, America.  There are so many wedge issues being introduced into this election year’s cycle that our heads are beginning to spin.  From “Personhood” to same-gender marriage to >gulp< anti-masturbation laws (I kid you not) to healthcare to Creationism as a school course to God only knows what else, we have to begin to wonder exactly what track we are on as a nation.  Whatever track it is, we are definitely heading over a cliff.

In many states, we see bills being introduced to define what a “person” is… where does personhood” start?  In Virginia, a bill was introduced that would force a woman to be physically invaded with an ultra-sound probe before she can have an abortion (the invasion part is now off the table after the people of Virginia protested this as a form of rape endorsed by the state, which IT IS!).  In Oklahoma, SB 1433 is being argued.  This bill states that the fetus “at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state” (I’d like to see a zygote try and vote….).  An amendment attached to the bill by Democratic State Senator Constance Johnson added that all forms of sexual activity “in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.” >embarrassing groan< The amendment eventually failed.  Don’t be surprised.   The Oklahoma legislature has a total of 20 women serving its citizens, so men are the ones making and passing laws.  Men seem to have an issue when you try to pass laws about their bodies but they have no problem intruding on a woman’s rights and body.  The south and mid-south legislatures are definitely filled with misogynistic nozzleheads (honestly, these guys are the poster children for why abortion SHOULD be kept safe and legal).  Anyway, if the original bill passes it will outlaw most forms of female contraception and all abortions (sorry, ladies, but you must carry your rapists child to term and if the “personhood” inside you is about to take your life… well, you are out of luck.  Have fun in Heaven – you are now a martyr).  My 16 year old is surprised they haven’t added that a woman’s cycle should be considered mass murder.  After all, he says sarcastically, an egg is an egg is a “person” and when it “comes running down the chute” to be discharged without fertilization, well, that’s murder… you know where his mind is going so let’s stop there.  This is how ridiculous the “personhood” argument has become.  I have two very intuitive and freethinking 16 year olds who share my “uncommon sense” and my sardonic tongue.  Thank God.  I do find it ironic that we care so SOOOO much about a fetus but once that kid is born it’s on it’s own.  We don’t want to ensure it has healthcare and we don’t want to protect it’s choices or it’s ability to peruse happiness in it’s own way without imposing laws on it’s body and it’s lifestyle.  Hell, we don’t even want to leave a planet where it can breathe fresh, clean air and eat and drink healthy food and water (attacks on the EPA and global warming are running rampant this year, too).  I could go on a rant here, but let’s move on to see what other wedgie we should be plucking from our political butt cheeks…

We have 11 states (Missouri, Iowa, Oklahoma, Florida, Indiana, New Hampshire, Maryland, Alabama, New Mexico, South Carolina, and Michigan) where bills are being introduced (or were attempted to be introduced) to make “intelligent design” an actual course in K-12 schools (some including college).  Sorry, I always thought that church is where you should be learning about God, not in school.  In school, which God are we going to accept anyway?  The Muslim God?  The Jewish God?  The Baptist God?  The Methodist God?  The Unitarian God?  The Catholic God?  The Eastern Orthodox God?  Each religion proclaims its God is superior to everyone else’s and is the only “true God” (I actually own a bumper sticker that says “My God’s Better Than Your God!”).  So exactly which God and/or religious catechism are we going to accept and enforce in our schools?  Should a town where the Unitarian population is high be forced to teach a Christian principle in it’s schools that is endorsed by a predominately Catholic state?  It’s time to think AND reason.  Isn't passing a law such as “intelligent design” a slippery slope to creating a state and then a national religion?  It surely is.  Uncommon sense prevails. Your God could be on the chopping block. Sorry.

In Maryland, Iowa, New Jersey and New Hampshire, we are spending money and precious time to try and repeal laws that have been passed to be inclusive of same-gender marriage (My turn to be tongue in cheek:  I hate the term same-sex marriage because once you are married, well, it’s the same sex all the time.  Same-gender is a much more appropriate term).  Yes, this is surely where our time and energy should be spent… taking away what should be a right for all Americans so that they can have “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”  Folks, if you are concerned about what happens in your neighbor’s bedroom then you are the perverts - not your neighbor.  Get over your own perversion and preseveration of other people’s genitalia and what they do with it.  Seriously.  IT’S GROSS.

We have states that have filed lawsuits because of “Obamacare”  as well as trying to institute state laws to over ride it.   I use to hate the term “Obamacare” but now I have come to embrace it, because, let’s face it, at least Obama DOES care about the health of our citizens, unlike those that can’t get their collective heads out of their butts long enough to understand it’s value to our nation.  That aside, the law has passed, it doesn’t infringe on anyone’s rights any more than being “forced” to have automobile insurance does.  And using my uncommon sense approach to things, isn’t it more important to insure your body than your car?  After all, if you are dead you sure as hell aren’t going to be driving.  If you are sick and unable to work you aren’t contributing to the financial stability of our nation.  Why are we wasting taxpayer money to take away something we should all have in the first place?  Couldn’t the wasted dollars be spent to make sure our citizen’s enjoy good health?

As I pour over a few dozen more ridiculous and absurd bills and lawsuits by a variety of different states, I have to wonder how any of these wedge issues actually affects our nation and grows our economy?  Let’s take a look from that angle.

Allowing same-gender marriage actually props up our economy.  Married couples are taxed more.  Committed couples in a marriage are more inclined to purchase houses together (and all that goes in them!) along with other big ticket items like cars, timeshares, stocks, bonds, etc because they are secure in their relationship. Security increases spending.  Spending increases job security.  Job security increases wealth of individuals, cities, states and the nation.  Simple truth.  If you don’t believe in same-gender marriage don’t marry someone of the same gender.  Plain and simple.  And if you think your straight marriage is doomed because two guys get married, perhaps it’s more doomed because you are a closet case or you are so bad in bed that you're driving your spouse to “play for the other team” (more tongue in cheek humor, sorry).  See a therapist.  They can help you.

Teaching “creationism” doesn’t do a thing for us fiscally.  No brainer.  Imposing God on citizens actually creates an atmosphere of fear.  Fear creates uprisings.  Uprisings create war.  War creates dead people.  Dead people create…. Ummm.  Well in a few million years they will create oil.  That’s a long time to wait for any fiscal benefits, isn’t it?

“Personhood” laws don’t create anything except a mess.  A zygote doesn’t contribute to anything other than an already overpopulated planet once it is born.  No, I do not advocate abortion.  While I am very much pro-choice I am also very much anti-abortion.  It’s not my body, it’s not my choice and I am sure it is not one that most women enter into lightly and without forethought and her own misgivings.  Instead of condemning a woman and her choice, I pray for them to have peace because it is a tough decision to make.  To me, it is akin to helping my mother pull the plug on my father some 17 years ago.  It’s an awful decision to have to make but there are circumstances that force your hand – and it’s not MY right to determine what is right or wrong for another human being.  I’m smart enough to realize that I cannot inflict my spiritual beliefs on another person because I don’t want them passing laws against my own.

And finally, the attempted repeal of “Obamacare” doesn’t help our economy.  It is wasted money.  In fact, healthcare laws HELP the economy.  No more monetary defaults on doctor and hospital bills by those too sick and unable to get coverage, too poor (God bless them) to purchase insurance, or too lazy to buy insurance (get over the damn ‘Superman Complex” – at some point you WILL get sick, dummy).  These defaults actually raise the cost of coverage and treatment.  Someone HAS to pay the bill and it trickles down to the consumer who owns insurance.  That’s fair to whom exactly?  I don’t want to pay the bill that you defaulted on so get your hand out of my pocket, dammit.  Uncommon sense again:  If everyone is covered, costs go down, job creation goes up because people are able to actually see a doctor and receive treatments that help them return to work.  Our nation is physically, mentally and emotionally healthy which in turn puts more people to work because they are able bodied.  Is “Obamacare” perfect?  No.  But then NONE of our laws are, are they?  Just look at our gun laws…Ok, that’s a rant for another day.

It’s time to get past the wedge issues we have and focus on those things that are inclusive of a healthy nation:  Job creation, economic stability, caring about our neighbors health and well being.  If we are going to continue an assault on personal decision-making, subcultures and religious beliefs then we are going nowhere but backwards.  And we all know what is behind us: our butts.  Pick the wedgie, folks.  It will make us all feel a lot better.

A Case of Mistaken Identity

Most of us have heard the term “PC”, which – if you didn’t know - is an abbreviation for ‘politically correct’.  But what does it really mean?  A little history is in order here. 

The term actually goes back at least as far as the 18^th century when it was used to mean ”being in line with prevailing political thought or policy.”  James Wilson, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States was quoted to have said, "The states, rather than the people, for whose sake the states exist, are frequently the objects which attract and arrest our principal attention... Sentiments and expressions of this inaccurate kind prevail in our common, even in our convivial, language... ‘The United States,’ instead of the ‘People of the United States,’ is the toast given. This is not politically correct."  So, as we can see, “PC” is really nothing new.  It’s the damage we have done to the term that is new.

In the 1990’s, the meaning was twisted to mean that certain things were “off limits” to say, such as bigoted comments against minorities and women.  It is said more as tongue in cheek and with contempt against “liberal thinking.”  To be “politically correct” has become…. a bad thing!  And it is because we think conformity and good manners are “liberal” behavior. 

The use of certain words in public forums (i.e. the “f”, “c” and “p” words) to what we wear when we are out and about (cleavage over flowing from a deliberately too tight shirt or pants half way down to the ankles with underwear visible) to how we act (rowdy, vulgar, ignorant behavior) is in direct defiance to the overuse - and misuse - of the term.  It is, indeed, shock therapy!  We’ve become desensitized to good manners and proper conduct just so we can show we are not “politically correct.”  And for those of us that are not desensitized to a higher code of conduct, we’ve often times become lax about how to handle situations where we are made to feel uncomfortable.

This past Friday, as Rick Santorum wound his way around the country looking for votes, he could be found at a gun range in Louisiana.   While he was emptying a few rounds into a target, a woman is heard saying, “Pretend it is Obama.” (You can view this at http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/03/as-santorum-fires-gun-woman-shouts-pretend-its-obama/). There are a few things wrong with what is said but I will try and restrict my thoughts to the actions of those after she makes her comment.  What is interesting is the laughter that is caught in the video after this ‘lady’ (and I use that term VERY loosely) makes her snide and careless remark.  No one dares to admonish her for the comment for fear of being – you guessed it – politically correct.  I am sure there were those that didn’t appreciate it.  But rather then speak up, people sit back and say nothing. 

If we have truly come to view “political correctness” as using simple good manners and common courtesy then we have an out of control problem on our hands.  In mixed company, you do not say certain things or tell certain jokes or speak of certain subjects.  For example, there are words I would not say in front of my mother (yeah, I’m old fashioned that way) merely out of respect.  We have gone too far to think that being respectful of our surroundings, the use of good manners in polite company along with some conformity to proper behavior is taboo. 

It is high time that we put PC back on the political spectrum and raise our personal standards.  There is nothing wrong with being a decent human being, behaving orderly and being kind and respectful.  We don’t have to use ‘shock therapy’ to get attention and show that we aren’t “PC.”  In other words, it is time to grow up and act like adults and get over this “no holds bar” rebellious mentality.  We are either eager to truly be a higher life form or we are doomed to be Neanderthals.  We have a choice to make.  What is yours?

Holding Out for a Hero

So, the results are in.  Whitney Houston died of drowning, with the contributing factors of heart disease…. and cocaine.  Am I surprised?  No.  People within her inner circle swore that she was “drug free and on the road to recovery.”  My mind is immediately taken back to the death of Amy Winehouse almost a year ago.  Yet another “star” whom was proclaimed to be drug and alcohol free, having survived years of self abuse and beginning to thrive.  >sound the buzzer<  She died of alcohol poisoning.   *feign shock*  And let’s not forget Michael Jackson.  Dear me, let’s not even touch on that one – I could go on all day.

These pointless deaths of talented individuals are nothing new.  We’ve recently been inundated with the life story of Marilyn Monroe through the media and the new hit TV show “SMASH.”, but we forget she died of a drug overdose, albeit sleeping pills, but still drug abuse.  Elvis Presley passed away with “contributing factors,” a polite way of saying he died of an overdose of prescription drugs, as did Heath Ledger.  Judy Garland, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Dana Plato, Montgomery Cliff, Anna Nicole Smith, River Phoenix, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Lenny Bruce, Jim Morrison, Tommy Dorsey, Derek Boogaard, Bobby Duncom, Jr., Curt Hennig, Harold Hunter … and the list goes on and on between singers, actors and sports athletes.  The media plays up these deaths as if we should be worshipping the lifestyles of destruction these people have left in their careless wake.

Do not get me wrong.  Each of these people had amazing talent and, had they not committed suicide, we certainly would have enjoyed them for years.  Committed suicide you say?  Yes.  Let’s remember that drug use and alcohol abuse is suicide.  We know the results and if we choose to use and abuse then we have made a commitment to our own demise.   This deliberate destruction irritates me (to say that drug and alcohol abuse is a mental issue could be true but there are way too many positive role models and too much help available to feel too much pity for it).  What really angers me is the hero status they achieve at the time of their death.

We don’t see media outlets listing the names of our real heroes.  Between soldiers, fire fighters, police officers, we have plenty of ‘everyday people’ to elevate to “Hero” rather than drug and alcohol addicts who sing, act, dance, play sports and do little else.  How about firefighters Nolan Ervin "Goat" Pittman, Mark G. Ratledge, Gerald "Jerry" R. Wetherell, Matt Waller,  Jeremy Tighe,  Zachary Whitacre,  David M. Flint, Doug  Haase, Sr., Walter C. Sumner, Bruce Turcotte,  Brandon Little, Duane Ibarra, David  Crenshaw, Samuel  Butler, William "Jumbo" Elliott, Leo Lionell Crisanto, Jonathan D. Myers, Donald L. Jones, Thomas "Bill" Dillion, Mark W. Morrison, or Jamison Kampmeyer?  All died saving lives over the past month. 

What about fallen police officers Sergeant Ruben Thomas, Correctional Officer Britney Muex, Deputy Sheriff Barbara Pill, Police Officer Preston Ross Jr., Police Officer Zane Perry, Trooper Tony Radulescu, Sergeant Michael Todd May, Detective David White, Reserve Deputy Don Williams, Sergeant Almondo Greer-Travis, Police Officer Steven Green, Police Officer Vince Bann Jr., Master Corporal Sandra "Sandy" Rogers, Police Officer William Talbert, Senior Police Officer Gail Thomas, Deputy Sheriff James Thacker, Patrol Officer Garret Davis, Correctional Officer Tracy Hardin, Sergeant Barbara Ester, or Agent Francis Crespo-Mandry?  These are just people who have passed away in the past 3 months.

Neither of these lists is even remotely close to being comprehensive.   But ask yourself:  “Have I ever heard of them?”  The list of soldiers who have died around the world, the ones that keep us free from tyranny and safe from terrorism, could fill way to many web pages.  Do we even stop to think that these fallen REAL HEREOS are fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters – people who gave their lives for something bigger than themselves?  But instead, they have been relegated to one-second blurbs, if even that, on local media stations.  We are moved quickly from the dead firefighter who was fighting a 7 alarm inferno, the fallen soldier who died protecting his comrades and the slain cop who was protecting an innocent from a gunman to how wonderful and awesome Michael Jackson was as a person and an artist and how we should be thankful for all he did.  Really?  To what end?  For who?  For ego?  Arguably, one could say that a lot of these dead ‘stars’ did wonders with their money to help others.  I will not argue that point.  I’m sure they did. But what I will say is most of us have no idea how much the 6,370 soldiers who fell during Operation Iraqi Freedom/Enduring Freedom also donated of themselves - whether monetary or voluntary works through organizations like Meals on Wheels, ARC, Salvation Army, the Habitat for Humanity or any host of other charitable organizations. 

Yes, it perplexes and angers me.  To think that my children are being taught that a self-centered, egotistical destructive lifestyle is what elevates someone to being a ‘hero’ is incomprehensible.  Every single day I reinforce that dedication to community - not to ones self - is absolutely essential.  I teach them that decadence is not a positive character trait but rather self-sacrifice and hard work fulfill the soul and build ones moral fiber.  These are the traits that we should be teaching our children and that these qualities are what advance humanity beyond our own narcissistic tendencies.  

The Prolific Adult Bully

We've all heard about it:  Kids killing themselves after being harassed for being gay or just simply perceived as being gay. Instinctively, we flinch at the thought of it, cluck our collective tongues and then we blame the teen or child bullies whose behavior lead to the tragedy.  But have we thought through who the real culprit is?

I remember my senior high school years very well.  It was a stressful time... and I surely had my fair share of being ridiculed and demeaned, oft times being called names that stung my very soul (I am proud to say that I was never a "bully" or a person to torment others, and my high school friends that I have the past 30 or so years will attest to that).  It is important to mention that I grew up in the 80's, a time when calling people 'queer', 'homo' and 'faggot' was "all the rage."  Watch just about any late 1970's or 1980's movie and one will hear the words echo'd over and over again.  It was popular to be a homophobe - or at least express homophobic tendencies.  Simply put, it made one "cool."   Homophobic hate language infiltrated our society so deeply that even today, as I listen to stories from my two teenage sons, lives on in our school population; I still hear it used in movies (although not as much) and it permeates the blogosphere and news outlets that I read, albeit mostly in the comment sections.

Recently, as I read through many comment sections on the Patch.com, The Dagger Press and other "news" outlets (really these sites are just online gossip rags to an extent) in my local area  regarding same-gender marriage, gay rights, etc, I became increasingly aware that  my generation still loves to use those degrading words just as frequently as the younger generations.  Oh, the things I have read!  "Jesus hates fags."  "The Bible says to kill all queers."  "Good, another faggots dead."  "If I knew my kid was going to be a homo then I would have it aborted."  And on and on and on.  Such wonderful 'christian' (small 'c') viewpoints - and I say 'christian' because in the same breathe they are calling on their religious and 'godly' beliefs while posting such malicious and demeaning diatribe.  So one should realize that if we have adults posting such vicious nonsense on public forums that are able to be viewed by children, is it any wonder that gay teens are attempting to or are actually taking their own lives because of the whole 'gay thing'?  If one lives in a society where hatred is breed by the adults who are suppose to be mature, loving and nurturing,  that society will only grow more deep seeded in it's hatred, passing it from one generation to another.  And let's make no mistake - it *IS* hatred when the terminology is used specifically and intentionally to be degrading.

All that said, let's look at the real culprit and place the blame accordingly.  It is we - the adults - who are allowing the stereotyping and the name calling to continue.  It is we - the adults - who are not putting a stop to it.  Rather than calling people out for posting - and outwardly speaking - such vitriol and harsh comments in a public forum, we sit back and do nothing.   We sit back and allow the "fag" jokes at the water cooler, laughing or remaining silent so as not to be judged and branded "gay" ourselves.  We become the responsible person, the one who has purposefully through our desire to 'not stir the pot', that helped lead these youngsters to commit suicide.  It is akin to being a conspirator to murder.  Ouch!  Yes, I know - that stings, doesn't it?

And for those that actually use this sort of hate language?  In my view, they are the actual murderer.  They are the ones that have managed to emotionally bankrupt the minds of those who are merely different from them because of their own bigotry, misunderstanding and, yes, even envy.  They are the ones who are responsible for the death of an innocent.   There is no way around this issue for me.

Now is the time to stand up, folks.  Now is the time to end this culture of hate.  No one is being asked to become gay or lesbian.  No one is being asked to even accept the (perceived) "gay lifestyle."  In fact, one can object to it but do so on a mature level, with love and understanding and not demean another human being.  Standing up to the hatred doesn't "make you gay" or make one a "supporter of the gay lifestyle."  It makes a person morally and ethically in line with God's own teachings of "loving your neighbor as yourself."

In conclusion, I ask:  Are you a culprit?  A conspirator? A murderer?  Or are you willing to say:  "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"????