We've all heard about it: Kids killing themselves after being harassed for being gay or just simply perceived as being gay. Instinctively, we flinch at the thought of it, cluck our collective tongues and then we blame the teen or child bullies whose behavior lead to the tragedy. But have we thought through who the real culprit is?
I remember my senior high school years very well. It was a stressful time... and I surely had my fair share of being ridiculed and demeaned, oft times being called names that stung my very soul (I am proud to say that I was never a "bully" or a person to torment others, and my high school friends that I have the past 30 or so years will attest to that). It is important to mention that I grew up in the 80's, a time when calling people 'queer', 'homo' and 'faggot' was "all the rage." Watch just about any late 1970's or 1980's movie and one will hear the words echo'd over and over again. It was popular to be a homophobe - or at least express homophobic tendencies. Simply put, it made one "cool." Homophobic hate language infiltrated our society so deeply that even today, as I listen to stories from my two teenage sons, lives on in our school population; I still hear it used in movies (although not as much) and it permeates the blogosphere and news outlets that I read, albeit mostly in the comment sections.
Recently, as I read through many comment sections on the Patch.com, The Dagger Press and other "news" outlets (really these sites are just online gossip rags to an extent) in my local area regarding same-gender marriage, gay rights, etc, I became increasingly aware that my generation still loves to use those degrading words just as frequently as the younger generations. Oh, the things I have read! "Jesus hates fags." "The Bible says to kill all queers." "Good, another faggots dead." "If I knew my kid was going to be a homo then I would have it aborted." And on and on and on. Such wonderful 'christian' (small 'c') viewpoints - and I say 'christian' because in the same breathe they are calling on their religious and 'godly' beliefs while posting such malicious and demeaning diatribe. So one should realize that if we have adults posting such vicious nonsense on public forums that are able to be viewed by children, is it any wonder that gay teens are attempting to or are actually taking their own lives because of the whole 'gay thing'? If one lives in a society where hatred is breed by the adults who are suppose to be mature, loving and nurturing, that society will only grow more deep seeded in it's hatred, passing it from one generation to another. And let's make no mistake - it *IS* hatred when the terminology is used specifically and intentionally to be degrading.
All that said, let's look at the real culprit and place the blame accordingly. It is we - the adults - who are allowing the stereotyping and the name calling to continue. It is we - the adults - who are not putting a stop to it. Rather than calling people out for posting - and outwardly speaking - such vitriol and harsh comments in a public forum, we sit back and do nothing. We sit back and allow the "fag" jokes at the water cooler, laughing or remaining silent so as not to be judged and branded "gay" ourselves. We become the responsible person, the one who has purposefully through our desire to 'not stir the pot', that helped lead these youngsters to commit suicide. It is akin to being a conspirator to murder. Ouch! Yes, I know - that stings, doesn't it?
And for those that actually use this sort of hate language? In my view, they are the actual murderer. They are the ones that have managed to emotionally bankrupt the minds of those who are merely different from them because of their own bigotry, misunderstanding and, yes, even envy. They are the ones who are responsible for the death of an innocent. There is no way around this issue for me.
Now is the time to stand up, folks. Now is the time to end this culture of hate. No one is being asked to become gay or lesbian. No one is being asked to even accept the (perceived) "gay lifestyle." In fact, one can object to it but do so on a mature level, with love and understanding and not demean another human being. Standing up to the hatred doesn't "make you gay" or make one a "supporter of the gay lifestyle." It makes a person morally and ethically in line with God's own teachings of "loving your neighbor as yourself."
In conclusion, I ask: Are you a culprit? A conspirator? A murderer? Or are you willing to say: "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"????
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